I finally persuaded my BFF from SD to create a guest post. She's an excellent writer - enjoy! J, thank you soooo much...
A few months ago (ok, ok, almost 6 months ago), Maja asked me if I would "guest" on her blog as someone who moved from Ballerup, DK to San Diego, CA to Seattle, WA. In my extreme desire to be a good friend and share my opinions on the cultural span from DK to the USA, I said yes. So, go get a snack, something to drink and use the restroom because this is not going to be your five minute read....unless you're a speed reader and, in that case, kudos to you, you probably don't have small children at home right now. Yes, that's sarcastic and yes, I'm envious!
Some background as I consider it important to know a little about me to better understand my opinions. Maja has written about me and/or my kids on various posts of her own (thank you, we're flattered!), I am the infamous friend J with the two cute (devilish) blonde girls and the little boy that could be Eric's twin. I was born in California, lived my early and teen years and early adult years in Pennsylvania and spent almost 15 years in various suburbs of Copenhagen, was baptized and got my college degree in DK and worked at two different hospitals in Copenhagen before relocating to San Diego (with my family and in somewhat the same situation as Maja). I am, according to myself and Maja, more Danish in my mindset and actions than American.
Before moving to San Diego in January 2011, my husband and I did a little research, so we kind of knew what to expect. We were expecting heat. We were expecting to be able to put the kids in daycare, while we both worked (after I had gotten my nursing degree approved so I could take the boards, but that couldn't take more than a year). We were expecting somewhat of a social life (but we knew this would take time as we didn't have any family or friends in the area).
Well, expectations are fine, but reality was definitely a different story and since Maja has done such terrific job in previous posts about life in San Diego, I won't go into too much detail as we definitely agree that it could best be described as somewhat of hell on Earth. Sunburning in FEBRUARY because you forgot to put sunscreen on yourself after slathering the kids top to toe is NOT awesome. Getting a nursing degree from another country approved in California was not the little molehill I was expecting, but rather a huge mountain, where the tasks to reach the top of the mountain resembled a circus act of jumping through flaming hoops while juggling three bengal tigers. Having three kids stay at home while trying to (finally) study for the nursing boards (because three kids in daycare would cost us an arm and a leg and couldn't pay for itself by taking a menial job in the meantime), was a feat in itself, and I did get to take the boards once before leaving for Seattle, although not with passing results, apparently neonatal/ICU knowledge is moot when you also have to know everything about cardiology and medications for these different cardiac illnesses and all about geriatrics. Anyhow, water under the bridge......
San Diego to Seattle, night and day! While I thought that we would thrive better in Seattle than San Diego since seasons are more mild in Seattle, I was not expecting the culture difference. In CA, the tendency is the shallow "hello, how are you, maybe we should do coffee sometime" with the invite to see each other again floating out there. It might happen, it might not, but you were at least recognized as a breathing human being - you exist. Upon landing in Seattle, it didn't take me long to look up different moms clubs in town and more specifically, looking for the familiar international club that also had a chapter in San Diego. I called the number I was given for the founder, ready to sign up without even attending any events (we needed a network, right?). Well, as it turns out the club had ONE member, the "founder" (seriously, is a club founded if there is only one member??). Whatever, sign me up anyhow, how hard can it be to get word out that we're here? There must be more than two stay at home moms in all of Bellevue (our little corner of Seattle). I did not know this, but true Seattlites (Seattlians??) are known for the "Seattle Freeze". The Seattle Freeze, in it's essence is snubbing your fellow townsmen that you don't know and don't care to converse with. An example, the kids and I spent the morning one day at a local farm learning about the animals. On our way back to the car, I see another woman with child in stroller approaching me. We make eye contact and good manners take over and I smile and say "good morning". After she made eye contact with me and I said my pleasantries, SHE LOOKED AWAY and just kept on walking. What in the world!?!? Were you raised by wolves!?!? No, my dear friends, that was the "Seattle Freeze". I kid you not when I say I have no friends that are true Seattlites. The few friends (ok, ok, ONE FRIEND) I have here is born Canadian that also moved to Seattle from CA because of her husband's job. The moms club that we agree we cofounded now has 8 members, so we are, for lack of a better word, thriving. But incidently, we have no true Seattleites in our group, we do have one mom that was born and raised southeast of Seattle, but shows no signs of "Seattle Freeze" in her. You can draw your own conclusions. And, by all means, google "Seattle Freeze" and it will pop up with tons of results because it does exist and, oddly enough someone wrote an article wherein giving the Scandinavian immigrants the blame for the "Seattle Freeze", but I disagree, I was never treated like that as a newcomer to DK. I wish we knew that before we moved to Seattle!!
One of the things I was looking forward to by moving to Seattle was actual changes in weather, more accurately RAIN. Ask Maja, the first few days, I was OVERJOYED and ECSTATIC at the wet stuff falling from the overcast skies. I texted Maja picture after picture of the wet drops from our corporate housing window, from the windshield in the car, just about every place water was pooling a picture was taken and it was AWESOME! And then it rained for TWO WEEKS STRAIGHT before getting ONE DAY of sunshine before turning back to rain. Seriously!! I have never spent so much time inside!!! Mind you, rain does not bother me or my kids. We will happily play in the rain and the puddles, but Americans lack a particular item of clothing essential to playing in the rain. Rainpants. I looked in every store, I looked online and the only thing I could find were flimsy pant coverings that as soon as my kids would be kids, they would be ripped to shreds and useless in keeping rain out. I even considered ordering nice good quality rainpants from DK, but then saw the price and really couldn't justify spending such a large amount of money on rainpants. So instead we spend the rainy days at indoor playgrounds, at the community recreation centers and any other (cheap) inside place we can find. It is so wet during the winter months that moss grows on trees, broken down old cars that are just sitting there, yes, just about everywhere that is stationary. I've been told that summer here in Seattle is absolutely wonderful. Three whole weeks where the weather is sunny and it gets up to 20-25C. Outdoor swimming pools are open a max of three months out of the year.......! Now, the weather is warming up, we are afterall in April, but now we have a new weather pattern called pollen. There is so much pollen in the air (meteorologists say it's tree pollen) that on the days where it's just a little windy, it looks like it's raining, only it's not. It's raining pollen and don't step outside unless you want a faceful of pollen. It lays on the cars like a thin layer of snow would, but it blows off once you start to drive. I seriously hope none of us have pollen allergies!!
Another very noticable difference from CA.....WA has no state taxes. Now, you would think this would mean more money in citizens pockets, right? HA, HA, you would be sadly mistaken, dear friend! The states that choose to have personal state taxes usually budget the money on education, healthcare, police, parks, low income assistance, etc, etc. While in San Diego, our two 5 year olds went to public pre-kindergarten for three hours a day free (meaning some of the personal taxes of the good citizens of CA were allotted for free basic education already starting at the very first year of public school). WA has no pre-kindergarten, which is fine, not every state has pre-kindergarten and kids don't usually suffer because of it. So, looking ahead, the girls would be starting kindergarten in the fall. Download the gazillion pages of information that have to be filled out for a child to start school and work on filling them out. One of the pages is for financial aid FOR ELEMENTARY SCHOOL STUDENTS. SERIOUSLY!?!?! Part time kindergarten students wouldn't have to pay anything to go to school 2 hours and 40 minutes a day and get the very minimal education for a kindergartner (reading, writing and math), but if you want your child to go to school for a full day (6 hours and 20 minutes), depending on your income and how many members are in your family, you're going to pay and it can get costly! To send both girls to full time kindergarten, we would be paying $640 A MONTH. Times that by 9 (school year is nine months - total of $5,760) and that is how much we'd be investing in our girls' education already for what, in my eyes, should be basic education. Our girls have not attended any daycare here in the states because of cost (or rather financial burden) and have only attended approximately three months public school in San Diego, to which they progressed leaps and bounds. But the kicker is, kindergarten in WA is not even mandatory!! So, technically, you could keep your five year old home another year and hope they can keep up when they start first grade, you know, where kids are already learning spelling of simple words, math problems, building on the fundamentals that were already learned in kindergarten!! I am baffled beyond comprehension, but, no worries, the poor families here in WA are getting a proper education. While I truly am grateful that those that can't afford early education is getting it for pennies, I wonder how people can think that a one income family with five members has enough money in their monthly budget to pay to send their kids to elementary school?
Continuing on the subject of no personal state taxes...... I have had my driver's license for 20 years, I am a law abiding citizen and have never gotten so much as a parking ticket. Insert move to Seattle, the city of photo enforced speed zones. My husband was the first to get a speeding ticket, going 45 in a 35 zone. I was the second to get a speeding ticket, I was going 28 in a 20 (according to the ticket). I've visited the same place again and it's marked 35, but because it's a school zone, it is marked 20 when lights are flashing. I drove by the same place at exactly the same time today, same day of the week (students get out early on Wednesdays), the lights were not flashing and I do not remember them flashing on that day in particular either, there were no students, no buses coming out of the school. The camera is pointed AT THE END of the school zone, when everyone is speeding up to 35 again. I have seen motorcycle cops very well hidden behind the booms at a railroad crossing (law in WA says they have to be in clear view). And there is almost always a cop that has someone pulled over. My guess is the police are also feeling the effects of no personal state taxes.
And when we exchanged sun and heat for rain and mountains, our automobile insurance doubled, our renter's insurance halved, our electricity (heating) bill tripled. I could go on, but supper time is here and three hungry kids will be screaming bloody murder, if I don't find something to feed them. But I will say, oddly enough, for our family, living in WA is a lot more expensive (financially and personally) than San Diego.
And it is on that note, that I tell you, we are moving back to San Diego in about three weeks. Back to heat, sunburns in off seasons, shallow pleasantries, being constantly outside except between 11am-3pm in the summer, personal state taxes, lower automobile insurance, higher gas prices, but funny enough, we are happy, we believe it's the right decision and all say "we are moving back home". And the cofounder of the moms club is envious.
A few months ago (ok, ok, almost 6 months ago), Maja asked me if I would "guest" on her blog as someone who moved from Ballerup, DK to San Diego, CA to Seattle, WA. In my extreme desire to be a good friend and share my opinions on the cultural span from DK to the USA, I said yes. So, go get a snack, something to drink and use the restroom because this is not going to be your five minute read....unless you're a speed reader and, in that case, kudos to you, you probably don't have small children at home right now. Yes, that's sarcastic and yes, I'm envious!
Some background as I consider it important to know a little about me to better understand my opinions. Maja has written about me and/or my kids on various posts of her own (thank you, we're flattered!), I am the infamous friend J with the two cute (devilish) blonde girls and the little boy that could be Eric's twin. I was born in California, lived my early and teen years and early adult years in Pennsylvania and spent almost 15 years in various suburbs of Copenhagen, was baptized and got my college degree in DK and worked at two different hospitals in Copenhagen before relocating to San Diego (with my family and in somewhat the same situation as Maja). I am, according to myself and Maja, more Danish in my mindset and actions than American.
Before moving to San Diego in January 2011, my husband and I did a little research, so we kind of knew what to expect. We were expecting heat. We were expecting to be able to put the kids in daycare, while we both worked (after I had gotten my nursing degree approved so I could take the boards, but that couldn't take more than a year). We were expecting somewhat of a social life (but we knew this would take time as we didn't have any family or friends in the area).
Well, expectations are fine, but reality was definitely a different story and since Maja has done such terrific job in previous posts about life in San Diego, I won't go into too much detail as we definitely agree that it could best be described as somewhat of hell on Earth. Sunburning in FEBRUARY because you forgot to put sunscreen on yourself after slathering the kids top to toe is NOT awesome. Getting a nursing degree from another country approved in California was not the little molehill I was expecting, but rather a huge mountain, where the tasks to reach the top of the mountain resembled a circus act of jumping through flaming hoops while juggling three bengal tigers. Having three kids stay at home while trying to (finally) study for the nursing boards (because three kids in daycare would cost us an arm and a leg and couldn't pay for itself by taking a menial job in the meantime), was a feat in itself, and I did get to take the boards once before leaving for Seattle, although not with passing results, apparently neonatal/ICU knowledge is moot when you also have to know everything about cardiology and medications for these different cardiac illnesses and all about geriatrics. Anyhow, water under the bridge......
San Diego to Seattle, night and day! While I thought that we would thrive better in Seattle than San Diego since seasons are more mild in Seattle, I was not expecting the culture difference. In CA, the tendency is the shallow "hello, how are you, maybe we should do coffee sometime" with the invite to see each other again floating out there. It might happen, it might not, but you were at least recognized as a breathing human being - you exist. Upon landing in Seattle, it didn't take me long to look up different moms clubs in town and more specifically, looking for the familiar international club that also had a chapter in San Diego. I called the number I was given for the founder, ready to sign up without even attending any events (we needed a network, right?). Well, as it turns out the club had ONE member, the "founder" (seriously, is a club founded if there is only one member??). Whatever, sign me up anyhow, how hard can it be to get word out that we're here? There must be more than two stay at home moms in all of Bellevue (our little corner of Seattle). I did not know this, but true Seattlites (Seattlians??) are known for the "Seattle Freeze". The Seattle Freeze, in it's essence is snubbing your fellow townsmen that you don't know and don't care to converse with. An example, the kids and I spent the morning one day at a local farm learning about the animals. On our way back to the car, I see another woman with child in stroller approaching me. We make eye contact and good manners take over and I smile and say "good morning". After she made eye contact with me and I said my pleasantries, SHE LOOKED AWAY and just kept on walking. What in the world!?!? Were you raised by wolves!?!? No, my dear friends, that was the "Seattle Freeze". I kid you not when I say I have no friends that are true Seattlites. The few friends (ok, ok, ONE FRIEND) I have here is born Canadian that also moved to Seattle from CA because of her husband's job. The moms club that we agree we cofounded now has 8 members, so we are, for lack of a better word, thriving. But incidently, we have no true Seattleites in our group, we do have one mom that was born and raised southeast of Seattle, but shows no signs of "Seattle Freeze" in her. You can draw your own conclusions. And, by all means, google "Seattle Freeze" and it will pop up with tons of results because it does exist and, oddly enough someone wrote an article wherein giving the Scandinavian immigrants the blame for the "Seattle Freeze", but I disagree, I was never treated like that as a newcomer to DK. I wish we knew that before we moved to Seattle!!
One of the things I was looking forward to by moving to Seattle was actual changes in weather, more accurately RAIN. Ask Maja, the first few days, I was OVERJOYED and ECSTATIC at the wet stuff falling from the overcast skies. I texted Maja picture after picture of the wet drops from our corporate housing window, from the windshield in the car, just about every place water was pooling a picture was taken and it was AWESOME! And then it rained for TWO WEEKS STRAIGHT before getting ONE DAY of sunshine before turning back to rain. Seriously!! I have never spent so much time inside!!! Mind you, rain does not bother me or my kids. We will happily play in the rain and the puddles, but Americans lack a particular item of clothing essential to playing in the rain. Rainpants. I looked in every store, I looked online and the only thing I could find were flimsy pant coverings that as soon as my kids would be kids, they would be ripped to shreds and useless in keeping rain out. I even considered ordering nice good quality rainpants from DK, but then saw the price and really couldn't justify spending such a large amount of money on rainpants. So instead we spend the rainy days at indoor playgrounds, at the community recreation centers and any other (cheap) inside place we can find. It is so wet during the winter months that moss grows on trees, broken down old cars that are just sitting there, yes, just about everywhere that is stationary. I've been told that summer here in Seattle is absolutely wonderful. Three whole weeks where the weather is sunny and it gets up to 20-25C. Outdoor swimming pools are open a max of three months out of the year.......! Now, the weather is warming up, we are afterall in April, but now we have a new weather pattern called pollen. There is so much pollen in the air (meteorologists say it's tree pollen) that on the days where it's just a little windy, it looks like it's raining, only it's not. It's raining pollen and don't step outside unless you want a faceful of pollen. It lays on the cars like a thin layer of snow would, but it blows off once you start to drive. I seriously hope none of us have pollen allergies!!
Another very noticable difference from CA.....WA has no state taxes. Now, you would think this would mean more money in citizens pockets, right? HA, HA, you would be sadly mistaken, dear friend! The states that choose to have personal state taxes usually budget the money on education, healthcare, police, parks, low income assistance, etc, etc. While in San Diego, our two 5 year olds went to public pre-kindergarten for three hours a day free (meaning some of the personal taxes of the good citizens of CA were allotted for free basic education already starting at the very first year of public school). WA has no pre-kindergarten, which is fine, not every state has pre-kindergarten and kids don't usually suffer because of it. So, looking ahead, the girls would be starting kindergarten in the fall. Download the gazillion pages of information that have to be filled out for a child to start school and work on filling them out. One of the pages is for financial aid FOR ELEMENTARY SCHOOL STUDENTS. SERIOUSLY!?!?! Part time kindergarten students wouldn't have to pay anything to go to school 2 hours and 40 minutes a day and get the very minimal education for a kindergartner (reading, writing and math), but if you want your child to go to school for a full day (6 hours and 20 minutes), depending on your income and how many members are in your family, you're going to pay and it can get costly! To send both girls to full time kindergarten, we would be paying $640 A MONTH. Times that by 9 (school year is nine months - total of $5,760) and that is how much we'd be investing in our girls' education already for what, in my eyes, should be basic education. Our girls have not attended any daycare here in the states because of cost (or rather financial burden) and have only attended approximately three months public school in San Diego, to which they progressed leaps and bounds. But the kicker is, kindergarten in WA is not even mandatory!! So, technically, you could keep your five year old home another year and hope they can keep up when they start first grade, you know, where kids are already learning spelling of simple words, math problems, building on the fundamentals that were already learned in kindergarten!! I am baffled beyond comprehension, but, no worries, the poor families here in WA are getting a proper education. While I truly am grateful that those that can't afford early education is getting it for pennies, I wonder how people can think that a one income family with five members has enough money in their monthly budget to pay to send their kids to elementary school?
Continuing on the subject of no personal state taxes...... I have had my driver's license for 20 years, I am a law abiding citizen and have never gotten so much as a parking ticket. Insert move to Seattle, the city of photo enforced speed zones. My husband was the first to get a speeding ticket, going 45 in a 35 zone. I was the second to get a speeding ticket, I was going 28 in a 20 (according to the ticket). I've visited the same place again and it's marked 35, but because it's a school zone, it is marked 20 when lights are flashing. I drove by the same place at exactly the same time today, same day of the week (students get out early on Wednesdays), the lights were not flashing and I do not remember them flashing on that day in particular either, there were no students, no buses coming out of the school. The camera is pointed AT THE END of the school zone, when everyone is speeding up to 35 again. I have seen motorcycle cops very well hidden behind the booms at a railroad crossing (law in WA says they have to be in clear view). And there is almost always a cop that has someone pulled over. My guess is the police are also feeling the effects of no personal state taxes.
And when we exchanged sun and heat for rain and mountains, our automobile insurance doubled, our renter's insurance halved, our electricity (heating) bill tripled. I could go on, but supper time is here and three hungry kids will be screaming bloody murder, if I don't find something to feed them. But I will say, oddly enough, for our family, living in WA is a lot more expensive (financially and personally) than San Diego.
And it is on that note, that I tell you, we are moving back to San Diego in about three weeks. Back to heat, sunburns in off seasons, shallow pleasantries, being constantly outside except between 11am-3pm in the summer, personal state taxes, lower automobile insurance, higher gas prices, but funny enough, we are happy, we believe it's the right decision and all say "we are moving back home". And the cofounder of the moms club is envious.
.jpeg)
.jpeg)
.jpeg)
.jpeg)